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Writer's pictureMaryLisa Emery

Core Values

Updated: Mar 2, 2021

Growing up one of the most important and frustrating questions I would ask myself is

"WHO AM I"



It was painful to feel disconnected to myself, looking back on it.

I would act out in so many ways trying to discover what I liked, and didn't like, where my boundaries lied, and what I was after in my Life.

I can see that is a common thread for many young people.

Now as a woman who just turned 30, I can also say that it might be quite more common than I thought in adulthood as well.


So I ask these questions:

"Why don't we feel like we know ourselves?"

"What impact does not knowing ourselves have on our lives?"

"What prevents understanding ourselves?"

"What steps can we take to build our passion and drive?"

"How does this impact our overall happiness?"



AM I LIKE THEM?


There is much to be said about social pressures, wanting to fit in, and a squashing of creativity for people not understanding who they are, in their core.


I think all of the above factors prevent this deep understanding and appreciation for ourselves, and I'd go even further to say it causes a lot of pain.


Think of the people who are so desperately trying to fit a square-peg in a round hole.

People who have a job they detest.

People who stay in relationships that provide them more angst than joy.

People who pretend to enjoy going to big parties because that's what they think they "should be doing"

People who are convinced they need be something that just doesn't give them pleasure.


I have been this person at several points, big and small, throughout my short life already.

Most of the time I wasn't consciously trying to be something other than myself,

I just simply didn't know that I wanted different.



KNOW THYSELF


Part of the joy of growing up is being able to learn more about ourselves.

We do this through experiences.

The more experiences we allow ourselves to have, the more we come to understand "us"


Without experiences, and mistakes, we learn nothing, and grow nowhere.

This is not only where we learn about ourselves, we learn how to trust ourselves (read more on this here )


I think we can all agree that to

Know Thyself, "Is the Beginning of All Wisdom" -Aristotle


Why is that?

Because Life and the Universe and even Reality is all PERCEIVED, by us.

Therefore, HOW we Perceive the world because the Life we Live.


-If you wear rose-colored glasses, Life is Rosy.

-If you wear dark tinted glasses, the world will always appear dark.

(Read more about happiness and perception here)

-If you see the glass as half full, Life will seem Abundant

-If you see the glass as half empty, Life will seem Lacking.

etc..


So again, knowing yourself, creates your World.



Values


Values are just the key to this self discovery journey.

A value is something that you deem worthy of your time and energy, something that brings you joy and satisfactions (that's my own definition anyways).

Such an important thing to identify and develop and live out in our lives if we are to be our Authentic Selves (read more about authentic self here)

I created this "Values Worksheet" because I wanted to help others discover the beauty and wonderment that is SELF KNOWLEDGE

I guarantee you, you will also discover more

-Confidence

-Happiness

-Pleasure

-Peace

I hope it helps you identify what you need on your path to authenticity, healing & happiness


Personal Values Worksheet

MaryLisa Emery, MSc

Reiki Practitioner

@spiritcollectiveusa


Definition: An individual’s standards of behaviors or principles upon which to live; what one deems important to have in their life


Why are values important?

Values are like a guide book to your life. If you have an idea of the things that are important to you, you can direct your behavior and life to live in a way that is in accordance to what you decide is important.

When you consistently adhere to your values, you develop self esteem and personal power; both of which are integral feelings related to your overall happiness.


Lacking Values Looks/Feels Like:

When you aren’t entirely sure about your ideas, opinions, and feelings you may tend to rely on others too heavily for direction. This can lead to a lack of personal power, a lack of life purpose, low self esteem, frequent fear/anxiety/depression.

Without knowing your values, you are unable to live as your Authentic Self. Your feelings and power become entangled with other people’s values, leading to feeling like your happiness is not within reach.

Examples: Feeling stuck at a job you don’t like; stuck in an unfulfilling relationship; lacking purpose; apathy for life; lacking joy and excitement; low motivation to complete tasks; people pleasing tendencies.


Strong Values Looks/Feels Like:

Knowing yourself, who you are, what you like and dislike, what you feel passionate about, gives you direction in life. Having direction in your life is directly related to overall life satisfaction, i.e. happiness.

Examples: using your voice when you feel uncomfortable or are having an emotional reaction; understanding your needs and letting them be known; boundaries in relationships; having hobbies; being creative; feeling like you have a purpose in life; finding joy throughout your day.


-Your values can be different from family and friends

-Your values can change

-Your values will bring you joy

-Your values will cultivate personal power and purpose when you carry them out

-Your values will strengthen over time

-Values never infringe on the rights or safety of others

-Values are your Life’s GuideBook


List of Values

Use the list below to highlight or mark the values you feel are important to you.


 

Love - Health - Kindness - Justice - Courage - Security - Wealth - Adventure - Independence - Family - Honesty - Humor - Passion - Integrity - Simplicity - Environment - Intelligence - Creativity - Politics - Peace - Social Causes - Success - Animals - History - Education - Courage - Dependability - Learning - Growth - Curiosity - Travel - Community - Spirituality - Acceptance - Religion - Fun - Connection - Influence - Authenticity - Happiness - Optimism - Service - Compassion - Pleasure - Loyalty - Respect - Influence - Openness

 

Now, list your top ten values of everything you marked as important to you:





Now list your top five values:





And finally, list your top three values:





This might give you a good idea about what is important to you, and what will bring you more fulfillment and enjoyment out of life once you pursue them.

For example, if you found that “animals” value made your top five or top three list and you don’t have a pet of your own, consider volunteering as a foster parent to animals, or walk your neighbors dog, or get involved with the World Wildlife Foundation!

If “success” was an important value to you, consider being a tutor youth in your free time. If “creativity” was important maybe start an Etsy page where you sell homemade products, or begin writing a blog.







Love & Light,

MaryLisa

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